Dunham Perry
Dunham Perry is a billionaire, playboy and philanthropist with many crowning achievements in his life. Born in the capitol of western civilization, Ottawa Canadian, this fiery Canuck really knows how to kick ass and take names. Often being complimented for his exceptional beauty, he is the crowning achievement of what it means to be a perfect human being. Born to feeble, weak-minded parents, Dunham was instantly a star when he was born. His parents couldn't believe that they created a perfect child. They were so proud of themselves that themselves that it got to their head that they too were perfect. Well I have news for you Dad, ONLY PERFECT PEOPLE GET TO EAT THE SNACKPACKS! Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT Dunham's greatest achievement has to be just about everything he has ever done. Most people can only have one "greatest" achievement based on the very definition of the word "greatest" but not Dunham. Dunham can have as many "greatest" achievements he wants to. And it just so happen that his whole life has been warranted to be the "greatest" achievement of his life. But if Dunham had to pick one he would probably say the fourth grade egg drop when he beat everyone. FAVORITE SNACK Dunham's favorite snack is none of your business. (Will accept food donations.) FAVORITE TELEVISION PROGRAM Always Sunny in Philadelphia is up there but Dunham would probably have to say the hit classic Scrubs. Just the use of characters and visual gags are incredible. There aren't enough people in the industry that understand how to use the full range of abilities when it comes to the visual medium. If you're just going to use auditory gags than just make a podcast or a radio show. I'm looking at you director of Anchorman. Dunham likes penis EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW We were able to gain an exclusive interview with the man himself, Dunham Perry: Reporter: I just want to thank you for being here, I know you're a busy man. Dunham: Just make it quick, I have a foot massage at 5, a date with a Victoria Secret Model at 6, and then another foot massage at 7. Reporter: Quite a busy schedule you have there. Dunham: What is this! Are you making commentary on my life now?! Am I on trial right now?! I didn't agree to come on your low budget show just to be heckled! Reporter: No no no, I didn't mean anything by it sir. Dunham: Fine then, start the questions. Reporter: What's your biggest fear? Dunham: Reporters who think they can do anything they want. Reporter: What do you like? Dunham: Not being heckled by reporters Reporter: What do you hate? Dunham: Reporters.... and bees. Reporter: Who do you have a crush on? Dunham: What is this! What are you doing! I am on trial aren't I! Reporter: No no no of course not, its for the wiki, remember you wanted a wiki. Dunham: Why would I want a goddamn wiki, who reads wikis? You must be a real weirdo if you write wikis. You're probably even a bigger weirdo if you write wikis based on yourself whilst talking in third person pretending to be someone else... Reporter: Yeah, that guy must be really weird, especially if he was to post the link on his Instagram or something so that someone random would just click the link and discover the wiki and think that this person is actually really cool but instead he's just pretending to be because he's actually really depressed... Dunham: Yeah, if that wiki existed I bet it would be a serious cry for help. I bet most people would think it was a joke and stuff but I bet the person is really torn up on the inside and just needs a hug from someone... Reporter: Man that's really getting me down, if only someone would help that guy. Dunham: What guy? Reporter: The guy we were just talking about. The one who made the wiki as a cry for help. Dunham: Ohhhh that guy, that dude must be real loser. Like a real weird who wets the bed or something. Reporter: What? But what if the guy's really hurting on the inside? Dunham: Are you questioning my judgement! Did I ask for your opinion! Y'know what, I'm really tired of being judged like this, I'm not a bad person, I shouldn't be in court! This isn't even a good court! This is kangaroo court right! Kangaroo Court! GOOD DAY! Reporter: Wait, how about a few more questions! Dunham: I SAID GOOD DAY!